Things to Avoid

1. “Just don’t fall in love with me.” A guy that says this doesn’t want to be in a relationship, he just wants to be in you. And in everyone else.

2. Guys that say they ate pineapple that night so their sperm would taste better. Yes, this really happened.

3. Men that don’t have toilet paper in their apartment. Or use red plastic cups. Hello frat boy.

4. Men closer in age to your father than to you. And upon realizing they’re closer in age to your father, say that you can call them daddy.

5. Men without jobs. Couch surfing is not a lifestyle.

6. People with cold sores. Yeah I'm talking to you.

7. Married men. Just don't.

8. In fact, don’t date any men that are in a relationship with someone else. It’s obvious: they’re already with someone else, and do you want to be the bitch that broke them up?

9. Guys that were just released from jail. Enough said.

10. Cristiano Ronaldo. Why? Because he's mine.